Now, my lack of desire to write this post has not been because a lack of things to say. There are tons of topics I could choose to write about...my summer teaching 7th grade math in Tulsa, OK, moving to Kansas City, MO, my job teaching 7th grade science and coaching girls basketball this past semester, the difficult season my family has walked through recently, or the fact that when I return to KCMO, here in 5 days, that I won't be coaching or teaching anymore.
January 8th 2015 is when I found out I would be moving to KCMO to be teaching with Teach For America. Fast forward a year later, I never would have imagined that that is no longer the case. However, through out it all one thing has remained. Jesus is still Lord.
So -- that's what I will choose to write about. My Jesus being constant even in the craziest and most challenging of seasons.
As I look back on these last 7.5 months I'm filled with sorrow. As I have tried to process every change that has occurred I am met with tears and an emptiness fills my heart. I'm broken. beautifully broken. I wouldn't change anything that has happened because it's brought me to my knees more than ever before. It's taught me to truly be content with Jesus alone. To know with full confidence, when nothing is left that Jesus is enough.
"My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever." - Psalm 73:26
truth. my flesh and my heart do fail -- quite often honestly. but it doesn't end there. Because I am redeemed by a God who is enough. He takes whats broken about me and uses it for His good. That, my friend, makes me beautifully broken.
So earlier today I sat on the floor of my room in my parent's house talking with the Lord about all that has happened and all that is about to happen. In these moments it should be fear that fills my mind (don't get me wrong it does creep in sometimes), but instead a complete peace washes over me, which is only from the Lord. I know even more change is upon me as I seek what is next in my life. But it's come down to three truths.
1. The Lord has ordained my days before I was even created.
"your eyes saw my unformed body; all the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be." Psalm 139:16
2. The purpose of the Lord outweighs the plans I have for myself.
"Many are the plan in the mind of a man, but it is the purpose of the Lord that will stand." Proverbs 19: 21
3. My purpose hasn't changed.
"And now, compelled by the Spirit, I am going to Jerusalem, not knowing what will happen to me there. I only know that in every city the Holy Spirit warns me that prison and hardships are facing me. However, I consider my life worth nothing to me; my only aim is to finish the race and complete the task the Lord Jesus has given me -- the task of testifying to the good news of God's grace." Acts 20:22-24 (check out my blog about purpose here)
It's here, yall. The new year. 2016. I am so excited to walk into this year knowing I'm beautifully broken for the Lord. That in the midst of hurts, pains, and unknowns -- I can look up with confidence knowing I am redeemed, that the Lord knows whats a head of me, that Lord is going to use me even when my flesh and heart fail me, and that at the end of the day my purpose is to love the Lord and make disciples by loving His people.
It won't be easy. But I hope yall will join me.
It won't be easy. But I hope yall will join me.
Because it does comes with a love from the Lord that doesn't change, a Lord that rescued me, and that continually brings me back to Him. I'm humbled and hopeful for what's to come.
So with that here's to seasons changing and a new year.
2016 -- We're coming for ya!
"the seasons change and you change, but the Lord abides evermore the same, and the streams of His love are as deep, as broad and as full as ever"
- Charles Spurgeon
