22 things I've learned in 22 years

(She's right it is pretty miserable & magical)

22 things I’ve learned* in my 22 years…

1.     Taking naps will always be a good idea

2.     Target, Mexican food, chickfila, and pizza could sustain me

3.     Drinking water is the key to a lot of things

4.     People are what are important in life. period. the. end.
   make ALL people a priority throughout every part of your day
   we should never be too busy for someone

5.     Flowers make everyone’s day better

6.     My planner is my best friend

7.     Anxiety can kill you – learn to trust Jesus

8.     Always GO BIG…and then go home
  do everything you can and in the best way possible,
  but don’t forget to go back to the ones who made you who you are

9.    Remember to have fun

10.  Being an adult is about realizing you know very little and need help 

      from everyone around you including strangers – take time to listen

11.  Trials are what define us – so battle well

12.  Risks are worth taking

13.  Wrong turns take you to where you’re supposed to be. trust.

14.  Don’t rush everything. Some times it take time for something beautiful to happen

15.  Give as much as you can
  there is more to gain in giving than receiving

16.  Playing with babies, children, and puppies will always bring great joy – do it often

17.  Roadtrips, new places, and new adventures create memories that will last a lot   longer then money – so GO!

18.  We aren’t all supposed to be the same.
  being different is what allows us to be the body of Christ

19.  Journaling
  if you don’t journal get one and start

20.  If expectations haven’t been communicated than you can’t expect anything

21.  Jesus uses broken people for His glory

22.  I’ve got a WHOLE lot to learn




*still learning ;)

REDEEMED | RESTORED | REFINED

I have been avoiding this post for over a week now – knowing that the longer I put it off the longer I can pretend that the last 8 months hasn’t come to an end. But reality always hits – reminding me that I no longer live in Kabana 39 on a fake island in the middle of Branson, MO. 

So as I sit in this reality I am forced to process through the last 8 months worth of mountaintops and valleys – but I am also faced with the challenge of looking onward to the valleys and mountaintops to come. Transition is a hard season to sit in. The sadness of adventures coming to an end partnered with the beauty of new adventures ahead; leaves a sweet bitterness in my heart.  Transitions are much like Spring -- from death comes life.  Flowers bloom, but only through the dirt of life.

And lets all be honest with ourselves, life is real dirty.

A year ago I would have told you I was going to the Kanakuk Institute to solidify my biblical foundation and to learn how to defend my faith. Last Friday I walked away with a certificate saying that I could do just that. And I can. I have learned more these past 8 months than the 21 years before and I can answer questions I never thought I’d even understand myself. But walking away from the institute has been abundantly more than that!

And I would tell you today that the Kanakuk Institute has been a season of sitting in the dirt of life watching a faithful God create beautiful flowers out of dead sinners. 

God did immeasurably more than I thought possible in this season and I wish I could share every victory and hurt with yall, but there aren’t enough words to express everything He did this year. So instead, I will pass along three truths I am walking away with – in hopes that it will encourage you as they have brought life to my dry and weary soul.

Redeemed | Restored | Refined.

Redeemed to recover ownership of by paying a debt

to set free as from slavery by providing compensation

I am a wicked sinner whose sins deserved death, but God being merciful and good sent his Son, Jesus, to pay my debt instead. Through His death on cross and His resurrection I am set free from the slavery of sin and given eternal life.

I HAVE BEEN REDEEMED!

“But God showed His love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” Romans 5:8

“But now that you have been set free from sin and have become slaves of God, the fruit you get leads to sanctification and its end, eternal life. For the wages of sin is death, but the free gift of God is eternal life through Christ Jesus our Lord.” Romans 6:22-23

Restored to bring back into existence | to reconstruct

Therefore I am no longer who I was before I knew Christ – for my old self has died with Christ. Instead, I have been made alive with Christ. I am a new creation.

I HAVE BEEN RESTORED!

“I have been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me. And the life I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.” Galatians 2:20 

“Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come.” 2 Corinthians 5:17

Refined to free from impurities | to remove by purifying

Now that I have been saved and healed – a new creation – the Lord works in me to cleanse me and purify my faith. So that as I journey through life I am constantly being reminded of the goodness of my God and get to point others to His glory.

I AM BEING REFINED!

“But thanks be to God, that you who were once slaves to sin have become obedient from the heart to the standard of teaching to which you were committed, and, having been set free from sin, have become slaves of righteousness.” Romans 6:17-18

“In this your rejoice, though now for a little while, if necessary, you have been grieved by various trials, so that the tested genuineness of your faith – more precious than gold that perishes though it is tested by fire – may be found to result in praise and glory and honor at the revelation of Jesus Christ.” 1 Peter 1:6-7

Jesus saved me | Jesus healed me | Jesus is continuing to cleanse me

These three simple truths have brought me to my knees countless times this past year. Reminding me that I am a chosen daughter of the Lord, and nothing can change that!

These 8 months I have been confronted by many different battles, but in the end Jesus has already won the war. His name alone is powerful.  So sitting in the reality that the Institute has come to an end is a moment for me to pause and see how God has been so faithful to me! How he has brought me to my knees so I could see how big the cross is – how he has reminded me of how lost I am without Him – how He continues to show me how good He is even in a world so broken – and ultimately He has reminded me that the gospel is for everyone and changed everything!

so from here – we simply go

“Go therefore and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, teaching them to observe all that I have commanded you. And behold, I am with you always, to the end of the age.”

Matthew 28:19-20

P U R P O S E

P U R P O S E 

Such a little word that brings so many questions to light. One definition I looked up for purpose said "The reason for which something exists or is done, made, used" The moment I read that I was struck me with so much fear. Questions started running through my mind...panic

"What is my purpose?"

"Why do I exist?"

"What am I supposed to do?"

"Who am I supposed to be?"

"Where am I going?"

on and on and on and on and on and on they went

taking complete captive of my mind

(i felt like i was reliving my first ever blog post)

I am such a thinker. I can't turn it off. Once something has been put into my mind it doesn't go away until I have solved it, come up with a solution, completed it, or found something better to waste my never ending thoughts on. It can drive me crazy sometimes, especially when I am not wanting to think about something -- but simply not wanting to think about something makes me think about it that much more. 

So recently my thoughts have been entangled with the thought of what is my purpose? Do I even have one? I know the next two years will be spent teaching in KC, but that doesn't feel like my purpose -- the reason I exist. 

Then recently in class it was brought up by one of my classmates, Nate...

P U R P O S E

Our purpose as believers is simple -- To glorify the Lord & make disciples

Acts 20:22-24 "And now, compelled by the Spirit, I am going to Jerusalem, not knowing what will happen to me there. I only know that in every city the Holy Spirit warns me that prison and hardships are facing me. However, I consider my life worth nothing to me; my only aim is to finish the race and complete the task the Lord Jesus has given me -- the task of testifying to the good news of God's grace."

Reading that without hope in a living Jesus is terrifying, but reading it knowing who my God is gives me so much joy and peace. I may not know everything that will happen in KC or after. I only know hard times will come, but that everywhere I go I have the task of telling people about God's great grace.

And friends, that's what I am going to do -- straight up tell people about my Jesus

Purpose isn't something that should cause me fear because I know my purpose its found at the cross!

I consider my life nothing to me 

I am in awe of my Jesus

Death keeps knocking at my door...

Death is knocking at my door again, but I am not choosing to answer quite like I thought I would.

My dad's cousin & best friend, basically an uncle to me, died yesterday. That is FIVE people in my most inner circle to have died in the past three years. A best friend to cancer, a college friend to a car crash, one of my longest & most treasured friends to a car crash, my uncle to years of drug and alcohol abuse, and now Steve. At first it was once a year, but now in the span of a year it has been about every 4 months.

Death seems to be catching up to me, but death can NOT win.

My greatest, deepest, and most intimate fear is that everyone around me and everyone I love is going to die. On top of this fear is the reality of the situation I am in! Which makes it a fear that is really easy to believe. This has developed into me always at defense and always ready to run. Run from anything that threatens me to grow roots that could just be ripped from me. I've noticed it in the way I long for intimate friendships, but sabotage them when they become a possibility. Because another friendship just set me up for another death. 

Tonight sorrow grips my heart so tightly as I see my dad struggle and mourn for the loss of Steve, but I am shocked at my own response to it all. I am shocked because I can vividly see how Christ has redeemed me and defeated death in its ENTIRETY. 

2 Timothy 1:9-10 "He has saved us and called us to a holy life - not because of anything we have done but because of his own purpose and grace. This grace was given us in Christ Jesus before the beginning of time, but it has now been revealed through the appearing of our Savior, Christ Jesus, who has DESTROYED DEATH and has brought life and immorality to light through the gospel."

I am confident in this because as I sat bawling in my car with my dad on the phone the other night as he was struggling with the idea that he would have to take his best friend off life support soon and watch him struggle in his last moments, as I sat there, my heart breaking, all I could proclaim was "My God is a good God." 

T R U T H always W I N S

So in the midst of my fear the lie I am believing is starting to grow dim in the light of the gospel. Death can knock at my door if it wants to, but it can not come in. Because Jesus Christ is victorious. He has WON, He has defeated death. There is no power in death, but there is POWER in the name of JESUS CHRIST! 

Let no one caught in sin remain
Inside the lie of inward shame
We fix our eyes upon the cross
And run to him who showed great love
And bled for us
Freely you bled, for us

Christ is risen from the dead
Trampling over death by death
Come awake, come awake!
Come and rise up from the grave!

Christ is risen from the dead
We are one with him again
Come awake, come awake!
Come and rise up from the grave!

Beneath the weight of all our sin
You bow to none but heavens will
No scheme of hell, no scoffer's crown
No burden great can hold you down
In strength you reign
Forever let your church proclaim

Christ is risen from the dead
Trampling over death by death
Come awake, come awake!
Come and rise up from the grave

Christ is risen from the dead
We are one with him again
Come awake, come awake!
Come and rise up from the grave

Oh death! Where is your sting?
Oh hell! Where is your victory?
Oh Church! Come stand in the light!
The glory of God has defeated the night!

Oh death! Where is your sting?
Oh hell! Where is your victory?
Oh Church! Come stand in the light!
Our God is not dead, he's alive! he's alive!

Christ is risen from the dead
Trampling over death by death
Come awake, come awake!
Come and rise up from the grave
Christ is risen from the dead
We are one with him again
Come awake, come awake!
Come and rise up from the grave

Rise up from the grave...

"Christ is risen" - Matt Maher

PICTURE PERFECT

This week we studied Hebrews! Hebrews is a solid book full of so much truth. But that can make it a lot to handle at once so it took me a while to weed through all I had learn to land on some simple truths.

2 things I walked away with:

1.     Jesus is superior of all

                Hebrews 8:6 “But in fact the ministry Jesus has received is as superior to theirs as the covenant of which he is mediator is superior to the old one, since the new covenant is established on better promises.

2.     Jesus is the eternal High Priest and His sacrifice paid it all

                  Hebrews 7: 24-25 “but because Jesus lives forever, he has a permanent                   priesthood. Therefore he is able to save completely those who come to God through him, because he always lives to intercede for them.”

                  Hebrews 9:28 “So Christ, was sacrificed once to take away the sins of many;                   and he will appear a second time, not to bear sin, but to bring salvation to those who are waiting for him.”

                  Hebrews 10:18 “And where these have been forgiven, sacrifice for sin is no                   longer necessary.”                 

There is so much peace in knowing our sacrifice has been paid and then we can rest in that. Knowing Jesus is superior to the old law and we have freedom in him. I am thankful for these truths this week because it has allowed me to rest in the truth of who Jesus is and what he has done for me.

Life is going full force currently, but I realized recently that I hadn’t posted many pictures so here is overload of my time at the institute. Also, if you missed my last post you should go over and check it out (here). It’s all about what I will be doing after the institute.

My roommate, Weasel

Suit mates <3 

My Favorite Host Family Sister

I N S T I T U T E

My favorite small group 

Nertz ALL the time

#gottabuyacoat

I know... I know... I am the absolute worst when it comes to actually posting once a week. A month has gone by and I haven't written a thing. No excuses here, but since it has been so long let me be the first to say... 

Welcome Back, let's catch up!

So, we have been back at the Institute (if you don't know what that is or have forgotten click here) for almost a week now and I am reminded of how very thankful I am to be here! God continually reminds me of His COMPLETE faithfulness even when I am doubting or full of fear. The more I seek God the more He opens my eyes to the things I have missed in the past. He is a good God who picks me up when I have fallen and can't get up. He comforts me in my fear, and always provides for me in ways I don't even think I need. He loves me better than I will ever understand. Thankful. 

This week during class we jumped right in with Dr. Glenn Kreider from DTS. He spent three days with us discussing the Trinity. Trinity - 1 God, 3 Persons (Father, Son, & Spirit). It was a hard week because it is such an important topic, but also something we can't wrap our minds around. How can the Father, Son & Spirit all be equal, in unity with one another, and diverse at the same time? What I have learned this week is that scripture shows the plurality of God and explains His roles, but I also learned and hold tight to the fact that we have One God who loves us completely, is for us, and bigger than we will ever be able to comprehend until the day we are in His is presence and His glory has been fully revealed. Until then, I hold on to the hope that is in Christ whom the Father sent to redeem us and the seal of our inheritance through the Holy Spirit. That is the importance of the Trinity!

Deuteronomy 4:39-40 – "Know therefore today, and take it to your heart, that the LORD, He id God in heaven above and on the earth below; there is no other. So you shall keep His statutes and His commandments which I am giving you today, that it may go well with you and with your children after you, and that you may live long on the land which the LORD your God is giving you for all time."
Deuteronomy 6:4-5 – "Hear, O Israel! The LORD is our God, the LORD is one! You shall love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all you soul and with all your might."
Ephesians 4:6 – “One God and Father of all who is over all and through all and in all.”
John 1:14 – “And the Word became flesh and dwelt among us, and we have seen his glory, glory as of the only Son from the Father, full of grace and truth.”
Ephesians 1:13-14 - "In Him, you also, after listening to the message of truth, the gospel of your salvation - having also believe, you were sealed in Him with the Holy Spirit of promise, who is given as a pledge of our inheritance, with a view to the redemption of God's own possession, to the praise of His glory.

There are many things to look forward to this semester and I have already seen glimpses of what is to come. Please continue to be praying for the Institute class of 2015. For complete vulnerability with the Lord and each other, for us to seek God and make the most of the short time we have left here, to ask hard questions and take the time to discover the answer, for unity, and for our futures as we all begin looking into what may be next. 

The next thing I need to do is go buy a dang coat. I have fought it for a while because I didn't see the point of buy an expensive coat just to end up back in Texas where a long sleeve tshirt is acceptable in winter, but turns out I will be staying in Missouri for at least two more years! I have been offered a place with Teach For America teaching Middle School Science in Kansas City, MO and I couldn't be MORE thrilled than I am. God is so good and I am so excited for this journey. If you remember please be praying for me as I embark on this new journey. Pray that I remain focused on being all here and investing in these last few months at the institute, but also be praying for a smooth transition, my future classes, my future students, and my first year of teaching! 

#gottabuyacoat

RECAP:

I am back!

1 God; 3 Persons

Be praying for the Institute

KC let's do it